In general my wife tends to do more of the cooking at home than I do … my hours tend to be irregular, with a lot of late afternoon and early evening meetings. The organizations I work with have both professional staffs and volunteer boards, and when meetings include the volunteers they’re scheduled to try and avoid the workday when possible.

But occasionally I take over the cooking duties, and the result is often my infamous beer can chicken on the grill. One of the greatest recipes in the world, at least for everyone except the poor unfortunate chicken.

Why is this recipe so much more intrusive for the chicken? After all, most chicken recipes end badly for the chicken. But this one’s particularly undignified.

First, open a can of beer. You need to empty it about halfway, and it’s up to you how to achieve that. I usually don’t drink it, since I tend to grab one straight from the cupboard so it’s still warm. In that case, pour half the can into a foil pan, which you’re going to use as a drip pan to avoid flare ups on the grill. With one of those sharp little triangle can openers, poke two more holes in the top of the can.

Now load up the can with a bunch of spices; I usually toss a bunch of Tabasco Chipotle in there, along with garlic powder and BBQ spices. It’s an inexact science, but be heavy-handed. After you’ve rinsed the chicken, find the big open end (in other words, the end that isn’t where its head used to be), and carefully lower the chicken onto the can. It’s going to wobble, so we’ll add to the poor bird’s indignity by using its legs as the other two supports for a sort of tripod. There you go, now it’s as stable as … well, as stable as a chicken with a can of beer up its butt.

By this time, your grill should be ready to go. What, you didn’t light it yet? I guess not, since I forgot to mention it. So, assuming you’re part of the pure, holy and upright believers in charcoal, not gas, for a real grill experience, bank charcoal on each side of the previously mentioned foil pan. If you drank the beer, pour a cup or so of water in the bottom of the foil pan.

Once the coals are greying over, place the chicken securely in the tripod position above the drip pan. It’s always worth using some sort of spice mix or dry rub on the chicken, and some soaked wood chips on the charcoal, but even without the refinements it’ll be pretty good. Close the lid, make sure there’s a small vent open on top for air flow, and walk away for about 80 minutes or so. When you come back, you’ll find a beautifully cooked chicken, moist and delicious because it’s been simultaneously roasted by the charcoal and steamed by the spiced beer.

Remove your creation carefully, because both the chicken and the beer are very hot by now. I find the easiest way is to grab it with a pair of tongs tucked under the wings, and then slide a spatula under the can. Lift it carefully onto a plate or serving dish held nearby by a willing helper (you’ve got both hands full remember) and go and wow your guests.

Oh, and if you insist on a gas grill … I assume it’ll work fine, so long as you set it up for indirect cooking. But really, get yourself a charcoal grill.